


Avoidance Learning

by ImpishHaechan



Series: Learning Styles [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Choking, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Smut but with feeling, felix is still trans, i dont describe his pussy this time tho, just know that its there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 15:20:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20932382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpishHaechan/pseuds/ImpishHaechan
Summary: If Chan was being honest he loved Felix like anything. He loved Felix when he was shaking from a horror movie. He loved Felix when he was high and delirious and needy  and laughing too loudly at Changbin’s bad jokes. He loved him when he was yelling at other drivers on the road from the front seat because he still didn’t have a license but had all the road rage of a seasoned driver.ORAn offshoot of "Hands on Learning" looking at Chan and Felix's dynamic.





	Avoidance Learning

**Author's Note:**

> PSA [CONTRIBUTE PLEASE BLM](https://moreblminfo.carrd.co/)
> 
> When Hweasa asked for the chanlix sequel idk if this is what they meant....  
This is a sequel to "Hands on learning"

Chan loved Felix like this, squirming, writhing, helpless underneath him. Loved the ways his toes curled uncontrollably, and the way his long neck arched and stretched, the way he gasped big ugly thick lungfuls of air. 

If Chan was being honest he loved Felix like anything. He loved Felix when he was shaking from a horror movie. He loved Felix when he was high and delirious and needy and laughing too loudly at Changbin’s bad jokes. He loved him when he was yelling at other drivers on the road from the front seat because he still didn’t have a license but had all the road rage of a seasoned driver. 

He loved a lot of things about Felix. He loved everything about Felix.

“Fuck right there baby” Chan slammed into him harder, grunting, he loved it whenever Felix talked when they fucked. His voice was maple syrup, thick and dripping and sticky sweet and Chan wanted to bathe in it. 

“Love your voice baby” Chan grunted, he was a grunter. Changbin made fun of him for it when they worked out together but Felix never said anything when they fucked. If anything he seemed to like it. Felix responded by whining highly and then dropping his voice low a second later to curse under his breath. 

“Chan, Chan, Channie, Chris”

“Chris?”, Chan quickened his pace, smirking, “You don’t call me Chris when we are fucking”

“Don’t usually have to” Felix stuttered, he was mostly gone at this point, “Fuck me like you mean it Chris.” And oh that was too sweet. That was what did it, Chan brought his hands up so they were covering Felix’s throat pressing him further into the mattress and snapped his hips forward hard, Felix had already cum once but he knew he could come again from penetration if Chan was rough enough. He was fully jackrabbiting into him now and Felix’s eyes were watering, and then Chan saw the youngers feets spasming in the telltale way that meant he was coming. Felix was fulling crying now but when Chan tried to move his hands from the younger’s throat small hands encircled his own to keep them there and that was what sent him over the edge. 

Chan filled the condom with a grunt and collapsed on Felix, panting. After a minute Felix tapped the older males ass and Chan took that as his sign, he sat up, pulled out, tied off the condom and tossed it into the trash. 

Felix scooted over on the bed so Chan could crash next to him. Chan liked it when they did it as his house because he didn't have roommates and he could hear all the pretty sounds Felix made, but Chan had a queen sized bed. Felix always talked about it, how nice and big it was, how much more comfy than Felix’s own twin XL but Chan couldn't agree. He liked when they fucked in Felix’s room because afterward there was nowhere to go, they  _ had  _ to cuddle. There was no way out of it and he would get to hold Felix for a few moments longer. 

Here at Chan’s house, there was too much room. They laid next to each other, not even their arms touching unless Chan made them. Chan made them, lining up his bicep to Felix’s own. They sat like that for a bit, just breathing the same air feeling the moment. Until Felix interrupted the silence. 

“We should probably stop doing this.” Chan felt his heart drop to the floor. 

“What?” 

“Like hooking up. We should probably stop you know?” 

“ Why? Is something wrong?” Something had to be wrong, it had to be something Chan could fix. Chan was good at fixing things, at slapping a bandaid so he could just hold on a bit longer. 

“Nothing wrong it’s just-” Felix took a breath, Chan could see him turn red, “I think Jisung’s gonna ask to be exclusive soon.”

“What?” 

“He already cut it off with his FWB Minho like a week ago, and I mean I think we are becoming more serious so…” 

“So you're ending us?” Chan winced at the way his voice raised at the end, betraying his own pain. 

“We’ll still be friends obviously. I mean its just sex you can have sex with anyone. Last I checked you don’t have any issues talking people into bed you’ll be fine.” 

“It’s not the same, they aren’t you” Chan aimed for teasing, for whiny and over the top but it came out too raw, his pain bleeding through too obviously. Felix looked at him, really looked at him. 

“Chris?” His eyes were asking something, something Chan wasn’t sure he wanted to answer. 

He was at an impasse. If his life was a video game this would be one of the important choices, one that would decide whether or not he got a happy ending. He imagined a notification popping up: Felix will remember that. Good, ‘don’t forget me’ Chan wanted to say because he was pathetic. Because he was a coward and now it was too late. 

“Because they aren’t trans? I knew you were a secret chaser.” Felix laughed as he said it but it sounded fake, they both knew it was. Felix’s eyes were wide, begging him to take the way out he presented, begging Chan not to do this. 

Chan sat up and grabbed his sweatpants from the floor slipping them on, forgoing underwear. He needed to leave, he needed out. He grabbed his shirt from the floor not even putting it on just holding it, crumpled in his fist. Fuck it was his house he couldn't leave. He looked to Felix and it was a mistake. 

The younger male had pulled the sheet to his lap so he was partially covered, his body hidden his eyes still looking at Chan, big, scared, still begging. Was Chan so much of an asshole to do this?

If this was the last time he could get Felix like this, in his bed, just them, the taste of him on his tongue, then maybe. 

“Don’t date Jisung” Chan asked, too desperate, too Chan. 

“Chris please don’t do this.”

“Don’t date him please” Chan asked again.

“You’re his friend, you knew we were hooking up, you knew he liked me why-” 

“You weren’t supposed to like him back. He wasn’t supposed to be special.”

“Chan I just don’t get it I have casual sex all the time-”

“Yes Casual, doesn't mean anything, half the campus is into you but you don’t like them back and that’s what matters. He was supposed to be just like me.”

“Just like what?”

“Hopelessly in love with you” It hangs heavy in the air between them. There are tears in Felix’s eyes now mirroring the ones sliding hot and wet and angry and heartbroken down Chan’s cheeks. Felix opens his mouth and closes it once then twice before he opens it again. 

“Chris-” Chan doesn't want to hear the rest of that sentence. 

“You should go.”

“Chris let’s talk about this, I don’t know what's going on.”

“You should go. I’ll let you get changed, I'm going to shower, don’t be here when I get back” Felix looks like he’s going to protest but then Chan breaks just a little more “Felix please.” 

Felix snaps his mouth shut and Chan crosses the room grabs his towel off the back of the door and leaves. 

When he gets to the bathroom he closes the door and turns on the water as high as it goes but he doesn't get in. He sits, his back against the door his eyes unfocused as he watched the water rush out of the faucet and listens. A few minutes that feel like an eternity later he hears it: the click of his own door closing and the louder sound of the front door of his apartment securing shut. 

Chan takes a breath, then two then three until he's breathing a little too fast a little too shallow, and gets up to turn off the water. Maybe he’ll shower later. He makes his way into the hallway pausing before his bedroom door, his hand rests on the handle, not ready to turn it and push inside, what if Felix is still there. 

He pictures it, pictures, opening the door to him, to Felix still in his bed, begging him to come back and talk. He pictures him pacing ready to curse him out and pick a fight. Most shamefully, he pictures him waiting for Chan, ready to call him Chris and say “I love you”. 

He pushes open the door and it’s empty. It’s empty, there's no Felix, fighting for their friendship, there’s no Felix ready to fight Chan, there’s certainly no Felix that loves him. His lamp is off, Felix always turns off the lights before leaving rooms unless its night. His bed isn't made but the sheets are straightened out, the comforter thrown on top. Chan collapses in bed and curls in on himself, he crawls under the comforter and the tears don’t start in earnest until he realizes: the sheets are still warm. They were just here, he was just here. He just had him. 

And now he’s gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> PSA [CONTRIBUTE PLEASE BLM](https://moreblminfo.carrd.co/)
> 
> More stuff is coming I promise im updating things im just going slow because uni is kicking my ass!!  
in the mean time i made a &NSFW twitter!!!!! So check that out for your various needs. Im still using the same CC so scream at me there about what i just did to chan lol.


End file.
